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  • Ken McFarland

    Ken McFarland Oct. 13, 2001, 10:14 p.m. (Message 27878)

    Re: Pre-Booking

    I completely support your open minded opinion Oberdan. If we expect dancers 
    to behave responsibly and courteously, and give them the information that 
    they need to make their own decisions, we should then keep out of their 
    personal business.
    Also, a real difference can be made by an MC. A pleasant reminder/s by the 
    MC to bring dancers in is usually honored by the dancers on the floor. As a 
    community, we could do better at training our MC's in how to present 
    inclusiveness. And to me, a reminder is just a reminder, not a wagging 
    Ken McFarland
    >From: Oberdan Otto <>
    >Characterizing pre-booking as a disease or a form of anti-social
    >behavior as some of the messages in this thread are suggesting is
    >unkind and judgmental. It is truly nobody's business but my own
    >whether or not I pre-book and why. In fact, it is nobody else's
    >business (except perhaps my SO) who I partner in a dance and why. I
    >firmly reject any notion that who I dance with and when and why
    >should be any part of SCD etiquette. I would suggest that those
    >busy-bodies who feel qualified to judge my behavior in this regard
    >have too much time on their hands.
    >Relying on "rules of etiquette" is a substitute for applying good
    >sense and courtesy. Such rules are good for children and for those
    >who are unsure of how to be courteous. Considering the thousands of
    >situations in which one could find oneself, having some guidelines
    >can be very helpful. The problem with relying "rules" rather than
    >your own sense of the best action in a particular situation is that
    >rules cannot cover every situation. Moreover, blind application of
    >what you think to be the rules of etiquette is a sure way to hurt
    >somebody's feelings. For example: "Women don't ask men to dance" is
    >most certainly in somebody's etiquette book.
    >Someone suggested a practice of "conditional booking". That is a
    >minefield I will not touch. While some conditional bookees might
    >actually think it a good approach, others might not like it at all,
    >but out of politeness, they will not tell you so. Personally, I would
    >not accept a conditional booking. A booking is a commitment. A
    >conditional commitment? Give me a break! If it is not a commitment,
    >then it isn't a commitment, is it? If I have booked a dance with
    >someone (which I do infrequently), I will honor that booking.
    >The real problem has nothing to do with pre-booking--it is how to
    >include everyone in the dancing who wants to be included. There is no
    >single solution, but as other messages in this thread have indicated,
    >pre-booking can be used as a tool to be sure some people are included
    >who would otherwise not be.
    >Also, I find the attitude that I would be doing someone a favor by
    >dancing with them to be distasteful. When I dance with someone, it is
    >because I want to and because I expect that we will have fun dancing
    >together. And, interestingly, regardless of who I dance with, it is
    >hardly ever otherwise.
    >Cheers, Oberdan.
    >184 Estaban Drive, Camarillo, CA 93010-1611 USA
    >Voice: (805) 389-0063, FAX: (805) 484-2775, email:
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