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strathspey@strathspey.org:27837

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  • Adam Hughes

    Adam Hughes Oct. 10, 2001, 1:59 p.m. (Message 27837)

    Re: Invitational etiquette (was Pre-Booking)

    Don MacQueen wrote:
    
     > I would like to add a corollary to Richard's very sensible sounding
     > approach.
     >
     > A personal policy of mine, and one that I believe is generally advised
     > in our area,
     > is this: if one declines an invitation to dance the next dance (for any
     > reason) it is
     > then extremely rude to either accept a subsequent invitation to the same
     > dance, or
     > issue an invitation to someone else to the same dance.
     >
     > [If the reason for the original refusal is because of a
     > pre-booking, that would be the only exception I can think of, and the
     > refusal
     > would of course be accompanied by an apology. One of the reasons
     > why I don't like pre-booking.]
     >
     > -Don
    
    The other good reason for turning down an invitation to dance, is if you 
      have in the last few moments found a partner, but have been separated 
    from that person by a sudden urge to remove your jacket, or the 
    realisation that your lipgloss is in need of attention or, if the next 
    dance is announced very quickly after the last, that you can't continue 
    without a quick sip of water.
    
    And sometimes, someone will ask you to dance without realising that the 
    person standing next to you is intending to be your partner.  At many 
    balls I've been to it has been considered bad manners to line up on the 
    dance floor before the dance has been announced, but not bad manners to 
    find a partner and lurk "inconspicuously" at the edge of the floor. 
    Which leads to a 30 second period where everyone is bunched around the 
    edge of the floor asking everyone within arms reach to dance...
    
    Every refusal must have an apology, and I try and make an offer to look 
    for the person at some later stage.
    
    While I do agree that usually one should accept the invitation of the 
    first person to ask, I think there are exceptions, for example:
    
    1) I have been refused a dance by a friend, who wanted to rest for a 
    dance but was then asked onto the dance floor by the MC to complete that 
    last 5 couple set (or whatever).  While the MC could be criticised, I 
    don't hold it against the dancer.
    
    2) I turned down a dance with a friend at a beginners dance that we were 
    hosting, because I thought the two of us should go and find new people 
    to dance with.
    
    Adam
    Cambridge, UK.
          

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