Etiquette

Volleyballjerry

Message 42799 · 25 Oct 2005 19:15:37 · Fixed-width font · Whole thread

Andrew's comments (repeated below) are for me the most sensible that I've
read on this thread, and I must say that I agree. At least in this corner of the
world, the whole notion of returning a woman to her place would never fly.
After all we are enjoying an eighteenth-century dance form (heavily adjusted
during the twentieth), not trying to fully recreate the eighteenth century.

As far as not forming sets until the dance is mentioned by the MC (or in our
case hereabouts we sometimes equate playing a few bars of music as the
equivalent), yes it is taught as part of the etiquette, but "jumping the gun" seems
to be endemic and really only is an expression of eagerness and enjoyment on
the part of the dancers. When I am MC-ing at a dance, it doesn't bother me at
all, and I certainly wouldn't dampen the cheerful spirit by chiding those who
are doing so. Actually what often happens is an in-between state prior to the
actual call, folks finding partners and milling about the floor in a
not-yet-set state waiting for the dance to be called.

Now, as far as clearing the floor, clear it to where? Sometimes there isn't
space for everyone to move completely off, and so our dancefloor often becomes
more a reshuffling space between dances as partners are reorganized for the
next dance, a more or less natural occurrence I find.

On the whole, our dancers are indeed polite. Couples don't intentionally
jump in ahead of others, except occasionally unintentionally, and then there's
generally an "oops, were you already here?" acknowledgment and adjustment.
Partners do thank each other for the dance when it's concluded, men and women both
to each other, and additional thanks among the whole set is also common.
Nobody simply runs away without acknowledgment. But the idea of escorting a
woman to some determined spot just doesn't happen here. Both men and women often
sit in varying locations or not at all between dances, and trying to enforce
this sort of artificial rigidity would be more like trying to put on a play
than holding a social dance.

Beyond all of this, in terms of twenty-first century adaptation, we in our
branch do everything that we can to ENCOURAGE women to invite men to dance,
recognizing that for some there is a natural hesitancy to do so. Women often
invite me dance, and I am flattered and pleased to accept. We also say: "Would
the first COUPLE [whoever they are, including two women] count off," and they
proceed down the middle of the set hand in hand, each counting and politely
making eye contact with one side. I think that these sorts of adaptation to our
own times are wholly appropriate. And in the same respect, yes, I also very
occasionally dance with another man.

Robb Quint
Thousand Oaks, CA, USA

In a message dated 10/25/2005 8:37:10 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
xxxx_xxxxxxx@xxxxx.xx.xx writes:

> There seem to be several assumptions here which may not match with 21st
> century mores (though I speak as a male).
>
> 1. The woman has a seat. I've been to several dances where the number of
> seats is less than the number of dancers.
>
> 2. The woman wants to return to her seat after the dance. She may want to
> chat to her friends from the set or neighbouring sets - or even ask someone
> for the next dance!
>
> 3. The man has asked the woman for the dance. If the woman asked the man,
> it would seem a bit odd and he may not even know where her seat is.
>
> The whole ethos of SCD is quite sexist. I've often heard phrases like "the
> man with his partner on the right", or "the man leads his partner". I once
> taught a university group where two men chose to dance together - quite a
> cautionary experience!
>
> Andrew Buxton
> Brighton, UK
>
>
>

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