My $.02 from America, where we don't usually have sex on the dance floor (we
usually sneak into the bathroom instead)...
Flirting is a skill. Like dancing is a skill. Some people are much better
at it than others. And while I have often seen people that are good dancers
(fun, energetic dancers!) but not good flirts, I'm going to admit that the
best flirts I have ever known are excellent dancers.
Good flirting is an expression of self-confidence - I'm telling my partner
"You are a *fabulous* person to dance with, and these 32 bars are the most
fun I've had all evening." At the same time, it's also saying, "Now, aren't
you lucky that you asked me to dance? Look how much fun *you're* having.
Be sure you remember me at the ball next month." A more personal rappaport
with a good dancer develops, but any further steps in the rappaport are
advanced off the dance floor.
But then there's flirting that requires a lot of skill and caution, and the
one that can get the most messy. Unskilled flirts can intimidate other
dancers and make them feel uncomfortable, mostly because when they're trying
to express "I'm having fun!" what's coming across is "Let me cook you
breakfast tomorrow, eh?" Thus I believe to be the problem of most DOM
(although there are always exceptions, and the best way to combat that is to
practice your "ice queen" glare. V. effective). On the other end of the
spectrum, an unskilled flirt can initiate the wrong reaction in their
partner - when they're trying to say "This isn't so bad!" their partner is
thinking "Yep, she's way into me. Another notch on my sporran!" And this
is where feelings can get hurt, superficial relationships can develop and
die a messy death, and poor reputations be established.
It's a matter of judging your partner, knowing your own capabilities, and
balancing the two parts. I've nearly had flirting catastrophes myself, but
on the other hand have developed wonderful friendships with people I flirted
with on the dance floor - and of course, we all know someone who met their
wife/husband during an SCD.
My favorite quote, and the one I work by: "Flirtation is merely an
expression of considered desire coupled with the admission of its
impracticality." -Marya Mannes.
Flirt on! say I. 'Tis one of the best reasons that I (one of these young
dancers y'all seem to covet for your groups) have stuck around.
(only 36 days left before the US gov't lets me drink legally!...I wonder how
that'll affect my flirting...)